Memorial services can be very different from and more informal than funerals. As such, it is vital to know about how to plan for and attend these services in a tasteful manner. 



Structuring a Space for Everyone 

Memorial services are often open to the public or may have a larger attendance than a funeral. Guests may come from a variety of cultural and religious backgrounds, and it is important for all to have a welcoming space in which they can grieve and reflect comfortably.

For this reason, many may decide to have a memorial service in an open space—such as outdoors. Those who are preparing a memorial service at a house of worship should ask pastoral staff how to create a welcoming environment for all those coming from different backgrounds. 

Preparing for a Solemn Occasion 

Although memorials may be more informal than a funeral, they still present a somber atmosphere where individuals reflect on the deceased in a meaningful manner. As such, all guests—especially children—should be prepared to enter this environment with a respectful mindset. 

When to Arrive 

Unlike a visitation that offers a “come and go” atmosphere, memorial services tend to follow a schedule, and guests should be prepared to arrive at least 15 minutes before it begins. Arriving early allows individuals to get comfortable, speak with others and prepare to focus on the life of the departed. 

Speaking to Family Members

Family members are generally present at memorial services, offering guests a chance to share condolences. Offering support in a brief and respectful manner is appropriate; however, if family hosts appear overwhelmed, it is important to provide them the space they need. 

Showing Respect

To maintain politeness, guests should avoid bringing outside distractions—such as cell phones, food and drinks—into the service. Those who wish to offer a warm gesture to the deceased and the family are encouraged to bring flowers and sentiment cards.